Chopsticks and Love

Learning the art of eating with chopsticks is a lot like love, i realized.

Chopsticks come in different styles, sizes, colors and designs. Some wooden, some steel and some even plastic. Some reusable, some disposeable. Wooden ones are more commonly used by the Chinese and the Japanese while Steel ones are used by the Koreans and these are the hardest to use.

In different cultures, there are also rules with chopsticks. The last time I went to Singapore, I learned that chopsticks can't be used to slice something for whatever reason. While in Japan, you can't let it stick/stand on top of your rice.

However, i discovered one of the most useful and important rule throughout my experience in using Chopsticks. Don't hold it too tightly, otherwise is won't hold. Same with love, you can't love fiercely and without rules. That's most probably the reason why I've been losing all this love.

Isang entry ukol sa pag-ibig

Ayon sa isang kaibigan, ang pag-ibig ay parang MRT. Matagal mong aantayin na dumating. Kahit masikip na sa loob, nagpapapasok pa rin. At hindi ka iiwanan. Higit sa lahat, pag na-miss mo ang isang MRT, asahan mong may kasunod pang parating.

Para sa akin, ang pag-ibig ay parang google. Marami kang mahahanap na pagpipilian. Pero hindi lahat ng mahahanap mo ay sagot sa iyong katanungan. Kung sinuswerte, anjan agad ang hinahanap mo. Kung minamalas naman, hindi mo makita-kita. E kahit na, may option ka namang baguhin ang search string e.

Ano naman ngayon ang pag-ibig para sayo?

Para kay ako

Bakit ka ba ganyan!? Antanga-tanga mo. Ilang beses ka nang niloko, magpapaloko ka pa ulit. Maubusan ka naman ng pasensya kahit minsan, pwede? Give up! Don't mess yourself up with senseless excuses. You see? You ended up hating yourself and your life. Hanbukake! Arasso?

Korean-ness

korean-ness

It takes a lot of rethinking for me to be able to articulate into

words what I have been through. The past weeks have been too

stressful as well as exciting for me. Blame the koreans for this!

Yeah! Korean-ness..

For me :
Yeppuda!

For macqueen-oppa:
Saesong eso kajang chuahe

For & :
Shiroyo! Pabuya! Shibal! Shibal!
Jugule? Ahhh..
Chungmal mozenggyotda

For Meli :
Gombae chingoo!

Para sa iibigin ko :
Chungmal chalzenggyotda
Nado Saranghe
Jugul mankun bugo shibda
Egiya
Chagiya <--sounds really sweet
Saesong eso kajang sarangheyo
Yobo

To anyone :
Yubetcha! <-- my favorite
Kurom
Kurae
Arasso
Aracchi?

These are just a few expressions I learned the past weeks I've been

hanging out with Koreans. And these are the persons I hanged out

with:

Han Jae Sub - Robben is not really cute but he has a nice and strong

built. And when I say strong, malakas talaga. A very sweet man.

I dated him three times before he left for Korea. This man is

really, really sweet - he gave me a dozen of roses, a love letter

(with all the difficulty in his grammar) and his shirt with his name

airbrushed on it aside from the text messages i got. He is also one

heck of a gentleman. If not only for lack of the so-called "spark",

I'd choose to fall for him. He told my sister he wanted to marry me

and asked me if I want to live with him in Korea. Hehehehe.

Cas ajushi - has a really nice and charming smile pero wag ka dahil

manyak ito! Yup, he should be treated with respect because he's a

little old already, naghahanap na nang mapapangasawa.

Lino - damn! I fell in-love with this man's funny and charming

personality and nice body when I first saw him. He's a scuba

instructor and a taekwondo 3rd dan and goes to the gym everyday kaya

maganda ang katawan. Sobrang lakas nito, he lifted me by just

holding my head. The only thing that turns me off ay isa siyang

manyak. I made a pinky promise with this man that is to see him

again. I broke that yakusoku. I wish I didn't break his heart.

Lee Sang Bae - bopols? maganda katawan? therefore, BOYTOY!!!

hahahaha.. Max is the ultimate definition of a boytoy-oppa. I could

only dream of seeing him topless. Haha!

Bin-ah - the cutest of them all pero parang baby. So i'll call him

egi-oppa! Detached siya sa mundo, yung tipong smile lang parati.

Matangkad at maganda rin ang katawan. Ewan ko ba, lahat ata ng

koreano maganda ang katawan e. I like his porma, cotton-silky-soft

polo with his hair in a charming and stylish disarray.

MacQueen-oppa - The word oppa in Korean literally means brother.

But there are two contexts, one is an older brother and the other is

a boyfriend. In our case, the context is an older brother. Anyhow,

an oppa is someone close to your heart. Yeah! MacQueen is our oppa

and i'm his Dongseang (sister/sibling). Oppa is the coolest Korean

guy I met. Very, very maporma. He fixes up his hair tayu-tayo. As

in mas mataas pa sa buhok ni Dao Ming Sz. He has nice and lovely

eyes but it's always hidden in shades, bagay naman sa kanya. He's a

very hard drinker - can't get through a day without alcohol. 15

bottles of beer and counting kausap pa namin nang matino. He can

consume 5 bottles of soju but 1 bottle of fundador and he's patay!

Beer-power! Hehehe. A very caring and respectful person. Loves to

treat us whenever we go out. I get hugs and sometimes a kiss, beso,

that is. There's really no sexual attraction going on though.

Purely platonic. I love my oppa!

Jo Su Ji - one cool party-girl. Suzi-unni knows a lot of dance

music. Lesbian daw sabi ni Oppa but it's no big deal to me. She

can drink and smoke A LOT. Maporma din.

Sophia - Sabog ito nung na-meet ko. Suzi-unni's friend.

MacQueen-oppa stays in her place. she lived here for 10 years

already. Oppa told me she's really good in Tagalog.

I think I'm fallin..

A little conversations had turned in into little sweet sensations
And they're only getting sweeter every time
Our friendly get-togethers had turned in into visions of forever
If I just believe this foolish heart of mine

REFRAIN
I can't pretend that I'm just a friend
'Cause I'm thinkin' maybe we were meant to be

CHORUS
I think I'm fallin', fallin' in love with you
And I don't, I don't know what to do
I'm afraid you'll turn away
But I'll say it anyway
I think I'm fallin' for youI'm fallin' for you

Whenever were together, I'm wishin' that goodbyes would turn to never
'Cause with you is where I always wanna be
Whenever right beside you, all I really wanna do is hold you
No one else but you has meant this much to me

REFRAIN
I can't pretend (no) that I'm just a friend (I'm just a friend)
'Cause I'm thinking maybe we were meant to be

CHORUS
I think I'm fallin', fallin' in love with you
(I)And I don't, I don't know what to do (yeah, yeah)
I'm afraid you'll turn away (I'm afraid you'll turn away)
But I'll say it anyway (anyway)

I think I'm fallin', fallin' in love with you (I think I'm fallin')
And I don't, I don't know what to do (and I don't know what to do)
I'm afraid you'll turn away (I'm afraid you'll turn away)
But I'll say it anyway (anyway)
I think I'm fallin' for you I'm fallin' for you

CODA
I'm fallin', I'm fallin' for youI'm fallin', fallin' for you
And I don't know what to do, yeah yeah
Fall, I'm fallin' for you

Pagkatapos ng napakatagal na panahon..

Masyadong mahaba na rin ang panahong lumipas mula nang huli akong magsulat dito. Napakarami na ring "blog-moments" ang lumipas. At ni isa ay wala na akong maalala sa mga iyon. Nitong nakaraang mga araw, maraming bagay ang bumabagabag sa isip at puso ko. Hindi ko alam, siguro ay pinagsasamamang galit, pighati (naks, ang lalim naman nito), pagkalito, pag-ibig at kung anu-ano pa. Nakakapagod. Talagang nakakapagod. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto kong isulat, sa totoo lang. Dati ay sobrang excited pa akong magsulat, pero iba ang takbo ang utak ko ngayun. Parang napakaraming ideya na hindi ko mapagkasya sa iisang katha, ni sa iisang sentence(ni Tagalog ng sentence ay hindi ko na rin maalala). Hay, kaawa-awang nilalang.

Omorii-san

Today is Tito Consty's 40th day since he passed away. It's really sad about how people easily forget someone. BTW, the manyak japanese arrived yesterday. Yes, i like him - he's still that maporma and mucho-gwapito i knew. At, higit sa lahat, nagkakatitigan kami ng madalas. So I've always been conscious whenever he's around.

Hope Springs

It's only now that I realized that it's a beginning of another month. New hope springs. But it's really the opposite starting from last night. I slept crying because I found out that Ate wore my A&F shirt which I had reminded her not to. Plus the fact that she scrambled upon my drawer- i discovered because my once orderly clothes were scattered. THis is quite too shallow for me to become a cry-baby that I am. But this has gone too far. Now, I'm really planning to give-up the house and live ALONE. It really frightens me but I think this will be the only solution. God, please HELP me. This is never-ending, with me who's the only one who cares about them and it's not at all reciprocated with the smallest effort that they can give. In the end, I'm the only one who suffers. Lord, I also want to be happy, I know I can be happy with You but I cant be when my family is pulling me down. I don't know if this is God's will but I really want to give-up on the house that we have. It's not giving-up on my family, it's actually letting them grow in their own feet with me still supporting them. Help me find a place I can live. I'm afraid, but Thy will be done. I dont want anymore to write more of what I feel. I just want God to know my prayers.